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Gerasene Demoniac, 8/15/2011

I was listening again to the story of Jesus' encounter with the Gerasene Demoniac. I have always thought it so sad that Jesus sent him home to tell everyone what happened to him. It was good to do that, of course, but the poor guy wanted to follow Jesus, and Jesus would not let him. Apparently he amazed all the people who had known him, though.

I am like that poor demoniac. I was so crazy when I was younger; not the kind of person you would want to bring home to mother. Now, Jesus has cleaned me up and told me to go out into the world and testify where I live...out in the world. I have always wanted to be a "church lady", to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life...but that is not my fate. I have tried church ministry, little things like teaching Sunday school. I always fail; church ministry doesn't feel right; it's not for me.

No, I am in exile out here doing what Jesus wants me to do. Will someone please tell me how to move those seeds that landed on the road, on rocky soil, and amidst the thorns over to the good soil, because that seems to be my call in life.

Bible and Music, 8/15/2011

Who needs drugs? I just discovered the biggest HIGH ever! Read Matthew 25 then played Chris Tomlin's "God of This City" with "I Will Follow" for dessert. That trinity of media stuff embodies everything I want in life.

Sunday, 8/14/11

Reminder to me: When someone asks you to help them with a Kingdom issue, don't send them away empty. You may never get another chance.

I asked a visiting pastor's wife to tell me what Bible apps she has on her phone. She explained she didn't have her phone with her; it was out in the car. She would get it LATER.

There was no later. I had to leave, and I never heard from her again. If I had been a new Christian, I might have taken her thoughtlessness seriously. As it was, I found my own Bible app because I have the skills to do so. I just needed advice.

Rather than feel resentment at a slight, I prefer to take what the Pastor's wife didn't do as a lesson. How many people have I sent away empty by saying, "Talk to me later"? I don't want to do that again.

Terror 8/13/2011

I decided today was the day to do something I was very afraid of...read the requirements for my dissertation. I had to take a Benedryl to stay calm enough to read the first 6 pages. Then, predictably, I fell asleep.

Now, I'm awake. I decided to continue reading the guidebook for dissertation-writers and started hyperventalating. I had to take a quarter of a prescribed tranquilizer.

Will I live through this doctoral stuff?

Submit

Voluntarily submitting to every change God wants to make in my life. As I sang the song with the words "available", I knew that is what I want. Like the Chris Tomlinson song, "I will follow," I am ready to leave everything and follow Jesus. I wonder what form the adventure
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