Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I sent a post today talking about how I have been not posting, about how little time there is. I emailed it from my iPhone. FAIL. It never even went through.

I am so overwhelmed with work, so many demands on my time. How do I find time to post?

I talked with Deanna Friday (7/22) about an insight I got while handing out flyers at the CR service: serving makes you feel like you belong. What if I had lived my life to serve all my life? Might I have felt like I belong in the human race? As I think about this question more dispassionately, I remember that the level of rejection I endured as a child made serving anyone almost impossible; I was too busy trying to survive each day. Finally I just withdrew into myself.

Locked up in myself is where I am now. Trying to get my "stuff" out of me is very, very difficult. I am inside looking out knowing what people can do to you.